Many of the people I work with find themselves tired, frustrated and overwhelmed.

They pride themselves on always being there for their family and friends and yet when it is so obvious that they have too much to do or are finding things difficult, they are struggling to understand why their friends or family haven’t noticed and are not there to support them.

One of the most powerful things for us to understand is that people are all different and what one person may find easy or obvious another can find difficult or be totally unaware off. This is to do with personality types.

People can be a combination of extrovert or introvert, fun loving, competitive, logical, emotional, motivated towards their own goals or caring for others.

It is important to realise that none of these personality types are good or bad.

Understanding your personality and how it differs from others is an important step towards accepting others for who they are and for you to accept yourself, work with your strengths and ask for help when you need it.

Most personality types are motivated by and for themselves however there is one personality type which is so motivated by and for others that they will often choose caring professions or roles in life.

Within this group there are some that are so compelled to help others that they can find it difficult to say no and put their own needs first.

This is exhausting, draining and ultimately overwhelming.

When your strength is to help, support and care for others it is natural to find it frustrating or even selfish when others are not the same.

To be selfish or put one’s own needs first can feel negative and make it difficult to achieve personal goals or even ask for help.

So, whilst it may seem selfish to seek help, I would like you to consider changing the word selfish to one of self-care.

Prioritising self-care and asking for help when you need it is important.

Other personality types will find it easy to put their own needs first and assume that you are doing the same so will naturally be unaware of your struggles unless you tell them.

But please be aware that even when you express your struggles not every person you tell will have the natural skills you need to step in and help you.

This is where being able to identify the appropriate personality type and asking them for help is key.

Sometimes this may mean looking outside your family and friend groups.

It can be difficult to do this especially if it means changing behaviours of a lifetime but when you know things can’t continue as they are and you accept that self-care is necessary for you to be able to feel better and continue to help others as you would like to, then reaching out to get the support you need can transform your life.